On Getting Too High in Colorado

I’ve always been a big proponent of the legalization of marijuana, not because I smoke a lot.. I can probably count the number of times I’ve been high with the fingers on both hands. I just believe that people should have the freedom to do what they please with their time and money. If the people want to toke up, let the people toke up. But I digress.

Shortly after recreational marijuana was legalized in Colorado, I took a trip to Denver, unrelated to said legalization. I had been to Denver a couple of times but this time is was extremely apparent that marijuana was now legal. The streets reeked of pot and there were dispensaries on every block the way you see Starbucks in most major cities. As the newly crowned Amsterdam of the United States, I wanted to take advantage of the fact that I could legally walk into a store and buy weed. So off I went on a search for a good dispensary. I used Weedmaps, which is like a Yelp for pot, to find a good place nearby.

I couldn’t even tell you what dispensary I ended up going to because the entire weekend is a hazy memory. All I remember is that it was a cross between a doctor’s office and a boutique herbal tea shop where you can smell the different strains in clean white beakers and talk to a marijuana expert about which is the right kind for you. Having previously enjoyed homemade brownies, I definitely wanted to try edibles, so we got some THC-infused chocolate truffles and some recommended weed for smoking.

I had tickets to see a concert that night so I saved my chocolate truffle. After having a smoke that afternoon, we checked out the Denver Art Museum and had dinner. Before the main event, Savoy, we had half a truffle each just to be safe and we smoked a little bit. The guy at the dispensary assured us that we would have a fantastic time with that combo. After about 45 minutes, we felt nothing so we downed the rest of the truffle on the way to venue. Huge mistake.

We got to the concert pretty early so we were just hanging out by the bar when I started to feel.. different. I had done acid before so I felt a sense of deja vu. Maybe it was the dark concert hall or the fact that I was too fucking high but I started to see trails of light when I looked around the room. I started to get kind of freaked out by the intense sensation and the fact that any minute now the concert was going to start and everything was about to get a lot brighter and louder. So we went upstairs and sat on some bleachers at the very back of the venue. I don’t know how long we were there, but I know we didn’t speak for a good chunk of that time. I was under the impression the band had already started  playing just because the stage lights and the warm-up DJ were tripping me out. The realization that the concert had yet to get underway and I was so high terrified me, so I had to get out of there.

We walked outside and it really dawned on me how early it was because there were still people lined up waiting to get inside. On the walk home, I started to forget who I was and why I was in Denver. I had to reassure myself of what was going on by repeating my name over and over and telling myself that I was just visiting. I know, it’s like a tragic Postal Service song without the music. By the time we got back to the apartment I was staying at, I was practically catatonic. I ended up throwing up all over the carpet because I didn’t make it to the bathroom.

I spent the entire next day having a somewhat out-of-body experience and watching the popcorn ceiling dance above my head. When I looked back on the prior 24 hours and I started to piece together what happened, I did some research and found that the recommended dose of THC is 10 mg. The truffles we had were 50 mg apiece. So I’ll file that under “the last time I listen to a stoner’s drug recommendations in a state that just legalized marijuana.” In the end, I missed the concert, and I spent a third of that trip to Denver feeling like I was dying. I also was forced to seriously reconsider my views on legalized marijuana. On the bright side, I think if I had stayed for the concert, I probably would have actually died. So, there’s that.