TSA’s list of weirdest carry-on finds of 2016

TSA Weird Things

Apparently, the TSA has a blog. Because there are only enough TSA agents to staff two security lines at LAX, but they have people blogging and producing YouYube videos of questionable quality for our entertainment. As 2016 comes to a close, they counted down the strangest things they confiscated around the country this year.

Here they are:

10. Hand Grenade Trailer Hitch Cover: San Luis Obispo County Regional Airport (SBP)

When a giant metal ball sack no longer wins over the ladies, cover your hitch with a hand grenade. ‘Merica

9. Hello Kitty Firearm: Bradley International Airport (BDL)

I can’t help but wonder if the person caught with this wasn’t coming from Japan. Because that sounds like it came from a claw machine in Tokyo.

8. Negan’s Bat Lucille: Hartsfield–Jackson Atlanta International Airport (ATL)

For those of you that don’t watch The Walking Dead, the bat in question is covered in barbed wire. Appropriate for the streets of Atlanta, but not safe for air travel.

7. Golden Hand Grenade: Newark Liberty International Airport (EWR)

It’s unclear whether this was a working grenade painted gold or a maybe just modern art on its way to Art Basel in Miami.

6. Replica Suicide Vest: Richmond International Airport (RIC)

I hope the person who thought this was a good idea didn’t get around to voting this year.

5. Bladed Dragon Claw: Hartsfield–Jackson Atlanta International Airport (ATL)

We can safely say that Atlanta is where you’re most likely to find people trying to sneak unique weapons through security. But are they going to hijack your flight? Nah, they’re probably just headed to Comic Con.

4. Dead Seahorses in Brandy Bottle: Detroit Metropolitan Airport (DTW)

Whatever the hell this is, it sounds like it came from South America.

3. Five-Bladed Flogger: George Bush Intercontinental Airport (IAH)

We all know that the most conservative states are full of the most repressed freaks in our nation. I bet this kinky flogger was on its way to the Republican National Convention.

2. Post-Apocalyptic Bullet Adorned Gas Mask: Miami International Airport (MIA)

I knew my hometown would be represented on this list. It might not be safe to fly in the cabin, but a gas mask (adorned or not) would probably be useful in Miami.

1. Movie Prop Corpse: Hartsfield–Jackson Atlanta International Airport (ATL)

Evidently when people in Georgia aren’t transporting weapons, they’re traveling with realistic corpse dummies. What can you say? Some people travel with gnomes, some people with dead bodies.