42 things to do when you’re jet lagged

Jet lag is the worst. No matter what I do to prevent it, I usually have some major time imbalance that causes me to lose a lot of sleep.

If you’ve taken every precaution to prevent jet lag and you still find yourself awake at 4 am, here are some things you can do to pass the time.

1. Turn everything off and get in bed as if you can will yourself into falling asleep.
2. Remember that you need to look up how to hail taxis here or if you can download some Uber-like app.
3. End up on Instagram.
4. Consider taking a sleeping pill but decide to try to sleep naturally.
5. Remember that you wanted to look up that museum your friend recommended.
6. Text everyone you know to complain about your jet lag.
7. Remember to pay your phone bill. Your memory is amazing when you’re jet lagged.
8. Take a look at an email you had flagged but not read to see if it’s important.
9. Look up places to eat for tomorrow.
10. Get hungry even though it’s 3:26 am and you’re fucked. There’s nothing to eat.
11. Read, even though you’re probably gonna get sucked in and not wanna put it down.
12. Realize it’s definitely too late to take a sleeping pill now. Feel regret and frustration.
13. Masturbate.
14. Blog about your travels.
15. Check the news. Ugh. Never mind.
16. Write a strongly worded letter you had been meaning to send to the cable company.
17. Unpack and repack all your clothes.
18. Listen to sleepy music.
19. Don’t listen to anything that’s gonna hype you up.
20. Ugh FINE. Just the one song but that’s it!
    
21. Get too hyped. Go back to sleepy music.
22. Start to feel back pain.
23. Worry.
24. Look up everything written online about back pain.
25. Decide you probably have sciatica.
26. Think about buying a special backpack that reduces pressure on your back.
27. Look up a bunch of backpacks. Add 5 of them to your Amazon Wishlist.
28. Go on Twitter.
29. Twitter is scary and infuriating. Log off Twitter.
30. Watch those weird videos on YouTube where people play with slime because the sound is relaxing.
31. Delete the backpacks from your Wishlist. The pain is probably just from being in a new bed. And you’ll be disappointed if you get an orthopedic backpack for Christmas.
32. See the sun peeking through the blinds.
33. Hate yourself.
34. Consider going out at the crack of dawn to see the sights with no people around.
35. Immediately veto that.
36. Turn your phone face down so that the notifications lighting up won’t get your attention.
37. Check your phone 15 minutes later in case something important happened.
38. Finally start to drift off to sleep.
39. Hear a noise. Jolt awake.
40. Wonder what one of your childhood friends is up to nowadays. Look her up and discover she’s married with kids. Obviously.
41. Again… begin to drift into a peaceful sleep.
42. Wake up wrecked at the sound of your alarm going off 45 minutes later.