When I was getting ready to go back to Miami recently, I started making a playlist to drive around to. All the “Miami playlists” I found include every song that has Miami in the title but don’t sound like Miami at all. So I made my own. I’ll preface this playlist by warning you that all this music is trash. But so is Miami. You’ll fit right in and your car will be bumping.
There’s nothing more Miami than being obsessed with cash cash money, baby. Miami is full of broke ass dudes who think they’re hot shit. So when Rico Suave is hollering at you from his 1995 Toyota Corolla, tell him you don’t really need the D, you need the MONEY!
Miami’s main working language is Spanish, so you better get used to hearing it. This song is the Spanish version one of the most universal musical experiences: “Turn it up. This is my jam!”
A long time ago, freestyle was the shit to listen to when you were doing cocaine and going out in Miami. Don’t know what freestyle is? It’s this relic from 1986.
This song is basically one long annoying sound, which is Miami’s favorite genre. If you don’t speak Spanish, consider yourself lucky. Just let the beat move you in and out of lanes in traffic.
Miamians love to hustle, mostly because it’s impossible to survive there if you don’t. In a city where there are more Uber drivers than pedestrians, this song resonates.
This fun pop electronic song drives great if you by some miracle get on a highway that’s not a parking lot. Take in the lights, the palm trees, the open road… before someone destroys their car in the Express Lane and backs traffic up for hours.
This is one of the best songs to cut someone off to on the highway after they almost you ran you off the road so they could merge. Fuck them. Have more fun than they’re having.
Doesn’t matter if you’re out there being a come mierda and not doing any work at all, you wanna drive around like you’re out there grindin’. As if you don’t make it to that meeting in Brickell, your life is over.
This rock jam is blowing up the radio lately. And it’s a great song to play when the traffic is starting to exasperate you, so you’re just gonna step on it and take the red light.
Before LIV and Club Space, there was Vagabond and Spiderpussy. That’s how Miami was introduced to Eurotrash like this. Just embrace it.
Everyone loves to hate on these Mormons like they’re the new Nickelback. But you know you love to bounce around to this dumb shit in your car. You’re not better than this, get over yourself.
This old school jam is on the list because Trick Daddy is the artist you’re most likely to run into in Miami at Family Dollar getting supplies for the barbecue.
When you’re pulling up to valet your car at whatever place you’re going to get too drunk to drive, you need your girl Ri Ri to help you make the perfect entrance.
Who would have thought these white guys would release the hottest doo wop song of 2017? This song can make you feel like driving around in Miami is not a hellish nightmare. Clap along!
The most important annual event in Miami is Ultra. Love it or hate it, a Miami playlist has to represent all the Ultra darlings. You can pick any David Guetta song really, they all sound exactly the same.
These two are like a touring joint Facebook account, but they’ve done some pretty fabulous things together. Though a lot of people from Miami would say 2Pac did this one better, you gotta have a little Bey to soften things up.
Swedish House Mafia reuniting was like Miami’s Royal Wedding. This song drowns out aggressive car honking better than anything else on the list.
Since it’s always summer in Miami, this 2014 is a classic to ride around in. Rent that convertible while you’re at it, you know you want to. Do convertibles even exist outside of Miami? Why would they?
Miami knew this song before Beyonce jumped on it. It’s also one of those songs that is basically one extended annoying sound, but it totally makes your rearview vibrate.
This was the song to booty dance to at your middle school prom. The vocals in the song provide lovely melodic background music to do some savage illegal shit in your car, like changing three lanes in the middle of an intersection.
This song perfectly encapsulates the entitlement of people from Miami who don’t take responsibility for anything. Spent $150 at the strip club? Got caught driving drunk? Cheated on your wife? Just blame it on the night!
You can pretty much substitute this for any song by Mr. 305, but this oldie is a true Miami throwback. Give yourself a little street cred by jamming to one of the only Pitbull songs that he was still performing at local high schools at the beginning of his career.