New York has been a ubiquitous presence on lists of the best cities in the US and in the world since I was in diapers. And a couple lifetimes ago, when I lived in DC, I visited New York often. After all, the city has all the best concerts, exhibits, and limited events. But society’s obsession with New York has always bewildered (and irritated) me. How can a city where your morning commute includes a homeless person vomitting blood in front of you be considered the best at anything? Nonetheless, I returned to New York with a renewed sense of hope that maybe after a decade, I could enjoy it with fresh eyes.
New York’s new experiences
I’ve done the Central Park thing and the 30 Rock thing and the Met thing and the Statue of Liberty thing, so I returned to New York with a short list of places to visit because they simply didn’t exist the last time I visited, one of which was the completed World Trade Center area. The last time I was in New York, the 9/11 Memorial Pools were just being installed. But now there’s the Oculus and the 9/11 Memorial & Museum.
The museum experience was immersive and stress-inducing, as someone who saw the whole thing unfold on TV in high school science class. And perhaps, because it’s not as Instagrammable as the Digital Museum of Neon or whatever, it wasn’t hard to get tickets at the last minute and it wasn’t overly crowded.
Manhattan has also installed a variety of new tourist attractions, like the Vessel, a climbable sculpture that has been closed all year because of a string of suicides… a likely thing residents and visitors would do in the best city in the US. The nearby Shops at Hudson Yards also recently opened in 2019, and though it feels so deserted that it will probably be closed in the next 5 years, it was so beautiful and peaceful that strolling around made me forget I was in New York.
On our visit to the mall, we stumbled upon the Edge, a stress-free 360-degree viewing platform with a champagne bar at the top. The unexpected and relatively empty tourist site ended up being one of the highlights of the trip.
The other pleasant surprises of a 2024 New York
One of the things I was immediately struck by when I arrived was how easy it is now to use the subway. Gone are the days of swiping the stupid little MetroCard and having to go to a machine to top up. Now you can tap your phone to get on the subway, which avoids the annoying bottlenecks at the turnstiles. It also saves you money because you’re not charged right away in the event your single-trip use ends up being more expensive than the cost of a week pass.
I was also surprised by how few rats I saw on my visit. Last year, the city appointed the first ever Rat Czar, a position aimed to reduce the number of rats plaguing the city… because any modern “best city in the world” has an uncontrollable hygiene and rodent problem. But I have to say, the woman has gotten to work. The subways are not nearly as rat-infested as I remember, a noticeable improvement.
I was in New York to attend the wedding of a long-time friend. And one of the guests at the wedding made a comment that I’ll never forget: “You never realize what you convince yourself is a good bagel until you have a New York bagel again.” As someone living in Prague of all places, where people think bagels are bread that is round, I felt that so deep within my core. A bagel was the first thing I ate in New York. I ordered it online conveniently at 6 am at a place just a few steps from my hotel. It was such a magical experience that I almost started to buy into the lore about New York. And that wasn’t even the best bagel I had on my visit. That distinction goes to Brooklyn Bagel & Coffee Company.
But that’s about where the upsides ended, and things started to go quickly downhill.
The unpleasant realities of a 2024 New York
Just a couple of days before I arrived in town, police in Brooklyn shot four people after they caught a man fare-jumping – a glaring example of New York’s aggressive policing. This was evident in the way police strut around the city, threatening with their presence to summarily execute anyone who commits even minor infractions… or people who happen to be nearby someone else committing a minor infraction. It was also evident in all the announcements and signs stating that your bags can be searched at any time for any reason. Constitutional rights be damned, I guess.
I could also sense the hostility of the city to its people in the pharmacies, which have everything from soap to laundry detergent locked up to avoid petty theft. How great can a city possibly be if basic necessities are so scarce and hard to obtain that they must be placed behind lock and key to protect the revenue of Duane Reade? It’s inconvenient for shoppers, and even more inconvenient for the poor store attendants making minimum wage who have to run around all day unlocking everything for people.
Over the course of our trip, we also encountered plenty of the hostile, crazy behavior that New Yorkers have a reputation for. People pushing into the subway car without letting you off first; people telling you off for doing the same thing when you’ve decided to just behave the way everyone else does. We caught a show on Broadway, which is always wonderful, but then proceeded to get harassed by random dudes on the street just outside the theater.
I know, I know. “People who live in New York don’t go to Midtown” – but I guarantee you those dudes aren’t from Milwaukee! I understand that there are a lot of mental health issues and homelessness contributing to this kind of thing, but those issues are the city’s fault for not providing access to affordable housing and mental health support. New York has endless resources, and they spend it “cracking down” on crime after its been committed instead of creating programs that will support its people and prevent crime to begin with.
How New York tried to kill me
When I could already see the city lights from the plane windows, I thought to myself, “Can I drink the water here?” Then I immediately laughed and felt ridiculous for wondering. New York is a little rough around the edges, but it’s not a developing country. Little did I know…
One day I will write about all the worst episodes of diarrhea I have ever gotten while traveling. Suffice it to say, the only reason New York doesn’t rank as number 1 is because of the availability of non-squat toilets.
I was at my first lunch in the city, mere hours after my first magical bagel breakfast sandwich, when I started to sense something was horribly wrong with my stomach. Thinking it would just pass, we headed down to the 9/11 Museum, where I ended up using the toilet at least 7 times between the Oculus and the museum. I kept getting cold sweats and goosebumps, not knowing whether it was the exhibit or the fact that I needed to shit liquid every 15-20 minutes.
I had nothing but water for the following 10 hours, which I could also not keep down. Having just come off a running injury, dehydration started to set in, and my calves became tight and excruciatingly painful. I could barely walk, much less run for a toilet when I needed it. And then I had to sit through a Broadway production of Aladdin. To be fair, by that point, I had nothing left in my body except for 6-7 tablets of Pepto Bismol. So I managed to get through the show without unleashing the hell I had rained down on Ground Zero earlier in the day.
By the time we left the show, I was starving and aggravated by all the mayhem in Times Square. We grabbed some New York pizza ™ (4.5 stars on Google Maps), which tasted like cardboard dipped in flour which was then overheated until the cheese was harder than the crust. At least it was only $1.50, and mercifully, did not continue making me sick.
I don’t get the romanticism of New York save for the fact that it’s the city most featured in Hollywood movies. If you’re a card-carrying hat-wearing “I <3 New York”-er, you can fucking have it. I hope I never have to set foot there again, but if I do, I’ll be sure not to drink the water!
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