Whether you’ve just started seeing someone or you’ve been with them long enough to know all of the moles on their body, travel is a great way to see where your relationship really stands. That’s because vacations create a unique set of circumstances that allow you to view your relationship outside of the day to day. It’s a great litmus test if you know what to watch out for and if you’re willing to pay attention to the signs. Travel can help you categorize your partner into one of these six types:
The person you miss and want to share everything with
If you’re dating someone who makes you feel free enough to go on vacation on your own or with friends, you’re already in great shape because it shows that you’re comfortable and secure enough with each other to not have to do everything together. But the true indicator of your feelings about them is that you think about them while you’re gone. Vacations are amazing and fun and distracting. So if the beautiful sights of Paris or Thailand are not successfully keeping them out of your thoughts, you’re probably very smitten, whether you want to admit that to yourself or not. If you’re sending them pictures all day and thinking about how much they’d enjoy something or picking out the perfect thoughtful souvenir to bring back, you’re a goner. And if that’s how you’re feeling, run back home and wife them.
The person you’re annoyed to hear from
Sometimes it’s really easy to date people you’re not really interested in – you just fall into a pattern without realizing it. Because you didn’t have plans for Saturday night anyway so you might as well go on another date. Or because you already spent the night, so you might as well have brunch with them. Vacations are a great way to break that pattern by helping you see how you really feel. As something sufficiently “better to do,” a trip can help you instantly identify this kind of partner because you’ll realize you’re annoyed to hear from them when you’re away. If you find yourself thinking “Don’t they know I’m busy?” every time they text you, then they’re probably not right for you. Do the humane thing and let them go. Be honest with yourself. You’re just not into them.
The person who you feel compelled to check up on
It’s not always great to think about someone you’re dating when you’re traveling. Sometimes you’re not thinking about them because you want to show them that cute selfie you took by the Colosseum. Sometimes you’re thinking of them because you’re worried about what they’re doing back home while the cat’s away. If you find yourself feeling concerned about someone’s whereabouts when you’re thousands of miles away, you’re probably right to be worried. Instinct is a powerful thing. Don’t ruin your vacations by ignoring it.
The person who feels compelled to check up on you
Love, chemistry, compatibility – none of those truly matter if you don’t have trust. And trust is a river that must flow both ways. So if your partner is constantly texting you while you’re gone and gets annoyed when they don’t hear from you, it means they don’t trust you. And maybe they have good reason not to. But ultimately, that doesn’t really matter either way because the lesson is the same. Do you really want to be with someone who won’t leave you alone for 5 minutes to enjoy your trip? And do they really want to be with someone who they can’t turn their back on when they’re in another zip code for a few days? The answer to both questions is: no!
The person who is on vacation with you
If travel is as important to you as it is to me, this is the partner you want. Being able to share every single moment with another person for an entire week without wanting to kill them is a special thing. This is the ultimate test of how much two people love each other and how well they fit together. You’ll know you’re with the right person if they help you feel more relaxed and happy while away, and if enjoying a new place with them enhances your trip. Being with the right person on vacation makes the vacation 100 times more exciting, more fun, more memorable, and more special.
The person you wish wasn’t on vacation with you
On the other hand, being with the wrong person on vacation ruins everything a little bit. It’s not enough to just want to travel with someone that makes a good partner; it’s how you travel together. Planning a trip with this kind of person is stressful instead of enjoyable and going on it is even worse. If you find yourself annoyed at the stupid things they do every day or wishing they would just agree to split up so you don’t have to put up with their crappy mood for another hour, then you’re better off without them. Vacation time is far too precious to let someone turn it into a bad time.
So where does your boo stand with you? You probably already know the answer without even having to think about it.