‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through our home
Not a creature was stirring, not even my gnome.
The trip alerts were all set up with care,
In hopes that we’d get a great travel fare.
The nomads were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of voyages danced in their heads.
And Honky the Gnome in his twisty red cap,
Was planning for next year by browsing a map.
“But Honky,” I asked, “Aren’t you nervous
About terror and Nazis and terrible service?”
“Yeah,” he replied, “This year’s been terrifying
But it’s no way to live, to be scared about dying.”
So we packed up our swim trunks and winter coats.
For the mountains, the beaches, and maybe the boats.
I got out my passport in the light of the lamp
So that it’ll be ready to get a new stamp.
As I waited for Santa in my comfy robe,
Mentally spinning my mind’s travel globe,
I thought about all the places I’d go,
Whether northward or westward or up or below.
“To Paris! To Dublin! To Cusco and Milan!
To Bali! To Russia, and even Taiwan!
To the top of the Alps! To the depths of the sea!
There’s no destination that’s too strange for me!”
There’s so many cities I’m dying to know.
Especially cities where I can see snow.
Where there are delicious dishes to eat.
Whether it’s iconic or kind of offbeat.
I’m wishing for adventure with a short layover,
But mostly I’m wishing for this year to be over.
So let’s drink to all the places we’ve seen.
And also because “Fuck 2016!”
While I Pinterested pictures of Muir Woods,
Santa finally dropped by to deliver his goods.
As I opened my gifts, I was nothing but smiles.
New luggage and headphones! And oh – airline miles!
Santa gave us a wink and took off on his sleigh.
And my gnome and I waved as he went on his way.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good flight!”