visiting london sucks

Unpopular opinion: London sucks

London is one of the first cities people visit in continental Europe, but England’s capital is not all it’s cracked up to be. Visiting London can be expensive, and the chaos in the streets makes it more of an unpleasant hassle than its reputation suggests. Simply put, London sucks. Here are just a few of the main reasons why.

Everything is overcrowded

london sucks
This isn’t a special event; it’s just a Saturday at 4 pm.

London is undoubtedly one of the world’s most important cultural hubs. Between music, theater, and art, there is a lot to do in London, but how much can you really enjoy any of it when you can barely move around? Almost anything beautiful or culturally relevant is congested to the point that it’s unbearable. Whether you’re catching a show on the West End or trying to eat at Camden Market, the sheer volume of people makes everywhere feel like the main stage at Coachella. It’s hard to enjoy a nice leisurely time when you’re constantly darting around huge crowds of people as they weave across intersections.

It’s a terrible value

london sucks
Pretty sure this hotel used be a prison.

My biggest axe to grind with London is that it’s extremely expensive for what you’re getting. Like how could a windowless box the size of a storage unit possibly cost £250 a night? And for what? So you can get caught in a drunken brawl right outside your accommodation? There’s nothing in London worth that kind of money. I’d rather be in Paris, and I kind of hate Paris, too.

People in London are rowdy as fuck

As a European resident, I’ve become pretty hateful about British tourists because they’re irredeemable alcoholics who go everywhere to be loud, rude, and excessively drunk. And London is their headquarters. Not only is everything overcrowded, Londoners are impatient, pushy, and apparently quite confrontational. On our last visit, we saw two separate fights break out in the middle of the street in a span of maybe 4 hours. These upstanding dudes can also be seen passed out on the sidewalk, pissing themselves.

It has some of the worst tourist attractions in the world

london sucks

If you’ve ever stood outside Buckingham Palace for two hours to watch the changing of the guard or taken a ride on the London Eye, I’m sure you’d agree that they leave something to be desired. Unless you’re really amped about a dreary gray skyline, £40 is robbery for a Ferris wheel. And the changing of the guard sucks so bad, I have an entire post dedicated to it. The things that could potentially be worthwhile, like visiting the Tate or strolling through Borough Market, are ruined by the number of other people there.

There’s no cell service in the Tube

London is massive and it’s impossible to visit it without taking the London Underground. Though its Tube lines are widespread and the system is easy to use, there is no free internet connectivity or cell service in underground stations or in train tunnels, which puts it behind many modernized cities around the world. Not having underground connectivity makes it hard to navigate as a visitor, and it’s also kind of unsafe. How are you going to have posters all over the Tube asking people to call and report harassment or vandalism on public transportation but not offer cell service?

Heathrow is an awful airport

Though it’s not the only airport in London, it’s the biggest and busiest, and thus, the one you’re most likely to fly into or transit through. Connecting in London is like a death sentence unless you built in a 7-hour layover for you to rot in the huge waiting area. You could be waiting for hours and still miss your flight because the gate is announced 10 minutes before boarding time.

Flying out of London sucks even if you have lounge access, because like everything else in London, the lounges are packed. The Heathrow Aspire lounge is the only priority lounge where I’ve ever seen people being asked to share tables with strangers. How’s that for a great value?

Like other overrated cities in Europe, it’s time we all acknowledged the fact that visiting London sucks.

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